US Team Uniforms: The good, the bad, and the WTF?!

Earlier this week, NBC Olympics posted this article with their thoughts on some of the 2012 team uniforms.  I'll look past the fact that they are encroaching on my fashion policing space, because they do have some good points.  However, my personal thoughts differ slightly and that is why I am bringing them to you here (plus, I know you would rather read what I have to say than NBC Olympics).  5 days to London 2012!!!!

Women's Soccer
NBC Olympics is oddly into this homage to "Where's Waldo?"  While a nice shout-out to host city, London ("Where's Waldo," originally published as "Where's Wally?" was created by British illustrator Martin Handford), I would prefer something with a little more pizzazz.  Points deducted for lack of spandex, too.

Men's Basketball
I am admittedly intrigued by the mid-leg positioning of what appear to be spandex leg warmers, as well as the addition of elbow pads to the sport.  I do appreciate the head-to-toe coordination of this outfit, also available in red and white.

Women's Gymnastics
There's no competition when it comes to gold in the "Team Spandex" event.  These leos are stunning, not to mention figure-flattering with the bias flag detail.  Someone please notify me when I can purchase one for myself!  The US really hit it out of the park on this one.  Check back later for my thoughts on historical USA Gymnastics leotards.

Women's Field Hockey
Was this the last uniform designed?  It really feels like someone just gave up.  Also, why aren't we coordinating footwear here?  It looks sloppy.

BMX
From the Ed Hardy school of Olympic uniforms.  All it needs is rhinestones.  I may feel better about this once I see it on a human being.

Cycling
I'll forgive the distractingly prominent crotch area because these are just so damn cool.  I'd rock that shirt any day of the week.

Track and Field
Honestly, who gave the OK for this?!?!?!  The two piece outfits are manageable, but COME ON!  Those one-piece atrocities will make our athletes the laughing stock of the games.  Next time planning a one piece spandex suit, consult the folks designing for the winter sports or these guys.


Photos: http://www.nbcolympics.com/photos/2012/best-dressed-seven-top-american-uniforms.html

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Aliya Mustafina (RUS): Queen of Russian Glitter

Image
Omg.  Readers.  I thought that I was going to have to create my own Aliya Mustafina makeup tutorial for you, but upon Googling "Aliya Mustafina makeup" I was presented with an onslaught of tutorials, pictures, and general awesomeness. Let me tell you about Ms. Mustafina.  I've loved her from day one because NBC labeled her a diva.  A Russian, gymnastics DIVA.  Girl also wears 75 pounds (31.0194 kg, if you're in Russia) of glitter in her hair and on her eyes.  She is my Olympic beauty idol.  Honestly, I'm thinking of forgoing my Princess Sophia Grace Halloween/Purim costume in favor of going as Aliya Mustafina.  I'm obsessed. I've included a makeup tutorial below, however it fails to include two important tips. 1.  You must wear your best bitch face with this look.  I'm not saying that Aliya Mustafina is a bitch- I'm telling you that girl knows what she wants and will go Hunger Games on your ass to get it. 2.  After applying your
Read more

Olympics Day 0 Brings 1000 Things to Discuss

Image
I have to admit that I'm confused by Day 0 of the Olympics. When people ask me why competition starts prior to the Opening Ceremonies I respond confidently that there is just too much to fit in. People tend to believe me because I have positioned myself as an expert on most things Olympic, but I'm pretty sure I made that up. Regardless, we got an extra day of spandex and I am here to break it all down for you. Figure Skating Team Event: Men's and Pairs Unapologetic chest exposure, and fancy couples costumes Figure skating is truly the golden sport when it comes to wintertime Olympic spandex. With the introduction of the team event, there are even MORE outfits to be worn, and this fills our cold, judgmental heart with pure joy. We've much to discuss, so let's not waste any more time. A trend among the men's skaters last night was a blatant open chest. Is it a sweat issue? I imagine that this would come into play to some extent, and I guess the women
Read more

Women's Volleyball: A sport I actually know about

Image
Here's a fun fact- I played volleyball for 7 years while in school.  Admittedly, it was middle and high school.  And we weren't very good.  And I spent most of my time on the bench.  But when I sat on that bench, I did it in spandex. Anyway, because I actually know how this sport works, I generally enjoy watching it.  I am currently taking in the USA vs South Korea game and have a few things to note. 1.  I NEED to get my hands on the South Korean shorts.  I am a general supporter of all spandex apparel, but I am especially fond of the spandex short (this likely stems from the time I spent playing volleyball).  The detail on the butt is GLORIOUS! 2.  Most unfortunate name of the match (and probably the whole Olympics, but it's too early to call): Destinee Hooker .  I hope that her athletic prowess overshadowed her name growing up.  If not, LOOK WHERE SHE IS NOW, BITCHES!!! Whilst writing this post, Team USA defeated South Korea.  CONGRATS!  Below, my thoughts o
Read more