Ode to Olympic Spandex

HELLO LONG LOST FANS AND FRIENDS OF OLYMPIC SPANDEX! It's been a while, but I have not forgotten about you, nor have I forgotten about our shared interest – #olympicspandex. I am SO excited that the Rio games kick off this Friday, yet excited to enjoy them in my Zika-free home. Want to know another thing that I am excited about? Our little blog remains the NUMBER 1 search result for "Olympic spandex" on Google. I feel like I've won the gold medal in the SEO Olympics! Anyway, let's get back to the matter at hand! The opening ceremony for Rio 2016, or, the Games of the XXXI Olympiad, are a mere 4 days away, and Ralph Lauren has gifted us with the least offensive national kit in recent history. Sure, they will look like they are students at some elite Olympics Boarding School, but gone are the unfortunate and ridicule-inducing hats. (As I've said MANY times before, we really aren't a hat-wearing nation.) Also, you know I'm obsessed with the (adm...

I was planning on writing a hard-hitting piece on curling fashion here, but then it hit me: In comparison to the Norwegians, all the other curling teams look like they are going grocery shopping on a Sunday morning. Associated Press via NBCOlympics.com United States I know that I am always pushing for more red in our national attire, but blaaaaaaaaaah. They even look bored WEARING this. Associated Press via NBCOlympics.com Germany Seriously. Stopping at the store on the way home from the country club. Associated Press via the Toronto Star Canada Ok, we're getting a little better. Some graphic interest. I would expect at least as much from a curling nation such as Canada. Associated Press via NBCOlympics.com Russia Longtime readers will recall that I was a big fan of this Russian print that was also used during the 2012 London Olympics. Still a fan, and I appreciate that they are learning from the Norwegians. AND NOW THE HOLY GRAIL OF CURLING F...

I admit to often being a slave to marketing. Generally this takes the form of buying any mascara that claims to make my lashes look big and fake. This week it took the more cost-effective route of inspiring a fascination of and love affair with ski jumping. Here's the Visa commercial: First of all, how fitting that during these Games being held in Russia my new favorite sport would evoke memories of Rocky and Bullwinkle, or rather, Moose and Squirrel : Rocky and Bullwinkle / via GifSoup It's really no surprise that I am so taken with ski jumping. Flying is awesome, and they do it in spandex. There is nothing not to love here. Let's take a look at some of the best and worst in ski jumping fashion, shall we? USA Today Sports Peter Prevc, SLO My favorite suit by far comes all the way from Slovenia. This is absolutely Tron-tastic. The stark white against the dark black... Thrilling. And the contrasting arm is a special touch unmatched by any other nation...

I have mentioned before the difficulty I have with other news outlets living inside my brain. Being a one spandex-clad woman blogging operation, sometimes I don't get things in writing as quickly as I am thinking them. Thus, many have beaten me to the "Johnny Weir Sochi fashion" punch. JDub is truly owning the Olympics. His commentary never fails to amuse (on Canadian ice dancer Tessa Virtue's dress he said Sunday, "I love that she's wearing a costume inspired by Russian royalty, and a little bit of Faberge"), and his outfits have been OFF THE CHARTS AMAZING. Your first course of action at this point should be to immediately follow him on the 'gram . He's been posting semi-daily fashion selfies. Your welcome. And if you need more, here is a round-up of suggested reading on JDub's 2014 Olympic wear: Gawker: Ex-Skater Johnny Weir's Fashion is About to Take Over the Olympics NBC Bay Area: Sochi's Breakout Star: John...

I have to admit that I'm confused by Day 0 of the Olympics. When people ask me why competition starts prior to the Opening Ceremonies I respond confidently that there is just too much to fit in. People tend to believe me because I have positioned myself as an expert on most things Olympic, but I'm pretty sure I made that up. Regardless, we got an extra day of spandex and I am here to break it all down for you. Figure Skating Team Event: Men's and Pairs Unapologetic chest exposure, and fancy couples costumes Figure skating is truly the golden sport when it comes to wintertime Olympic spandex. With the introduction of the team event, there are even MORE outfits to be worn, and this fills our cold, judgmental heart with pure joy. We've much to discuss, so let's not waste any more time. A trend among the men's skaters last night was a blatant open chest. Is it a sweat issue? I imagine that this would come into play to some extent, and I guess the women ...

With Yevgeny Plushenko taking Russia into the lead in today's Team Figure Skating events, I just want to remind the internet, and everyone, of this: Those hips, that muscle tank, and then he takes his pants off...  I'm keeping an eye out for this one in Sochi.