Friday, February 26, 2010


Now that it is Friday, I will finally have time to catch up on all the marvelous spandex brought straight to my living room by the Olympics.  This weekend is also PURIM- another great time to bust out your full-body spandex body suits.  I know I wish I had one of these from for my Purim costume!  That would be the ultimate.

Tonight/tomorrow's posts will bring you up to date on Alpine Skiing, Ski Jumping, Bobsled, and of COURSE ice dancing and women's figure skating.

Oh, in other news, I think I am famous.  I say this because it seems that NBCBayArea is ripping their Olympic fashion stories from my blog: (note the similarity to the previous post on this blog!).  That, or whoever is writing their Olympic fashion stories lives inside my mind...  I'm a little annoyed, but mostly flattered.  Next time, HIRE ME!!

Vote NORA for
Olympic Fashion Correspondent!!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I am very behind

I realize that I have been slacking lately on the spandex rundowns.  Ice dancing came and went (though there was a distinct lack of spandex in this sport, but I did spot a few stand out gems), and I have not even begun to brief you on the epicness that is the bobsled spandex (they wear pedal pushers!).  Unfortunately for my career as a blogger of spandex, I have a real job.  And this takes up a good portion of my time.  I didn't have to work last week, thus why I was able to put up 7 posts in a day.  That being said, I have worn spandex to work every day (and will continue to), and will be compiling photos to bring you the latest in Olympic spandex fashions.

In the meantime, browse the internets for your own spandex race suit.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Skeleton is probably the sport that gives me the greatest number of heart palpitations when I think about it.  The name is fitting, though "Bone Crusher" would have also worked.  Skeleton is similar to luge, only upside down.  The sliders are on their stomachs on their sleds facing down the track.  Absolutely terrifying.  EPIC fashion.

American Noelle Pikus-Pace may have the best spandex of the 2010 Olympics right here.  The hot pink bodysuit with USA printed on the bum as well as some black contour detailing along the sides is a recipe for success.  Someone e-mail me when this goes on sale, because I am getting one.

The American men also had quality gear for this event, as modeled by John Daly.  I won't lie- I thought this was Canada upon first glance.  Either way, the pattern detail on the arm is fabulous, as is the surprising pop of yellow just above his shoes.

The men's and women's uniforms for skeleton were more or less the same, so I am only going to show you one.  All the countries really pulled out all the stops for this sport's uniform.  There seems to be a large Union Jack design on the suit as a whole, but what I like most is the Union Jack glove-like details on the arms.  Also, note the helmet.

So the yellow and black spandex on this suit is great, albeit a little bumble-bee-esqe, but what is really of note in this Japanese get-up is the helmet.  Not sure if that is a unicorn or a Pegasus, but both are awesome.

New Zealand going literal with "skeleton."  Love the color combo and the matching stripes on the legs and shoes.


Men's Free Skate

I realize that I am a few days late with this review, but unfortunately life sometimes gets in the way.  But fear not- I tackled life head-on, in spandex no less.  That being said, there was a distinct lack of spandex during the men's free skate on Tuesday night.  Many of the skaters opted for more of a slack-like pant and blousey shirt.  Perhaps they thought that would keep them off my blog.  Unlikely.

I need to begin with Canada's Patrick Chan.  On a basic level, this outfit is not that bad.  The jacket has a lot of interesting detail and I enjoy the tuxedo-style pant.  HOWEVER, throughout his entire routine all I could focus on was his belt buckle because it was distractingly prominent.  Had he gone with a spandex pant, there would have been no need for a belt thus resolving this issue.  Though Chan's most egregious fashion blunder relates to his choice of music.  Chan free skate program was choreographed to music from The Phantom of the Opera.  You will notice the lack of any sort of partial facial covering.  Major points deducted for this.  I realize that a half mask wouldn't work since it would obstruct his vision, but white face paint would have sufficed.

Once again Kevin van der Perren of Belgium does not disappoint.  It seems that he is channeling the international aspect of the Games by wearing an abstract world map on his shirt.  Also, what's the deal with everyone's belt buckles tonight?

Daisuke Takahashi of Japan's look is half court jester, half women's Renaissance-era corset.  It is troubling that someone in this outfit can walk away with a bronze medal...

Samuel Contesti of Italy follows up his spandex cowboy/mechanic look with this mariachi-inspired look.  The bold orange is a nice touch.  Thank you, Mr. Contesti, for never failing to keep fashion interesting.  How awesome would it have been if he were ALSO wearing a sombrero???

Javier Fernandez from Spain appears to be going the pirate route for this performance.  On the pirate scale however, he is more on the Pirates of Penzance end of the spectrum than Pirates of the Caribbean.

What I love about Johnny Weir is that he has a very distinct style that is all his own.  I saw this outfit and thought, "man, he looks so Johnny Weir right now."  Um, duh.  He also looks like a glittery arctic bird of sorts.  Not to mention, fabulous.

I think that Johnny Weir had the best description of American Evan Lysacek's outfit when he said that there were "dueling phallic snakes" on it.  Ha ha ha ha.  I'm going to give Lysacek a minor pass since this is Vera Wang (and let's be real- if it were part of her Simply Vera by Vera Wang line at Kohl's I would be the first to purchase it), but I am a bit disappointed that he went all black for both the short program and the free skate.

Um, WTF, Florent?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Men's Doubles Luge

Before we get into the fashion of the men's doubles luge, I think we should first deal with the elephant in the room (internet): this sport is HILARIOUS.  Everything about it makes me laugh.  Mostly the fact that you have two people lying on top of each other, on top of a sled.  Won't the top person fly off if the bottom person is not holding them like their seatbealt?  Ha ha ha ha.  So because I got so distracted by the hilarity of the sport, I hopped on over to to figure out what was actually going on.  Here is what they had to say:
Doubles luge is a one-day competition in which pairs of athletes take two runs down the course. The fastest total time determines the winner. There is no rule that says a doubles team must comprise members of the same sex, but traditionally, men have slid together, with the larger man positioned on top for a more aerodynamic fit.

Interesting...but back to the spandex.

Now this is embarrassing.  For other big events (the Oscars, Grammys, etc), great attention is paid to whether or not someone else has already worn the dress that the attendee is purchasing.  Clearly that same consideration is not given to spandex bodysuits during the Olympic Games.  On the left are the the Linger brothers of Austria and on the right Christian Niccum and Dan Joye from the United States.  I won't place blame either way, but someone did not do their homework because these are disturbingly similar...

I was unable to determine specifically who this athlete is, but this Storm Trooper look comes to us from Romania.  Where someone is obviously a big fan of Star Wars.

This happy dude hails from the Czech Republic.  I'm glad he's so chipper after coming in 18th.  Either way, his outfit ranks much higher.  I would probably have a similar look on my face if I were sporting this outfit.

Last up are the Sics brothers of Latvia (it seems that competing with your sibling makes you go faster- the Linger brothers and Sics brothers came in 1st and 2nd, respectively).  Those lines only lead the eyes to one place...


Thursday, February 18, 2010

Skiing, shooting, and spandex

That's right, it's time for a rundown of women's Biathlon.  But first things first- who knew that SHOOTING was an Olympic sport?!?!?!  WTF?  Not I, sir; not I.  So once I got past the fact that this literally blew my mind, I was able to focus on more important things- like spandex.

First up is Magdalena Neuner of Germany.  The pants on this outfit were nothing to write home about, thus why I chose a picture highlighting the top half.  I love the subtle pattern detail that is incorporated into the sleeves which are already representative of the county's flag.  What I am confused about is why she is carrying an Avatar on her gun?  Realistically that may be a backpack strap, but if it is James Cameron for sure designed it.

France's uniform, modeled here by Marie Laure Brunet, has also hopped on the subtle flag detail train.  I have to admit that I would like this elbow design a lot more if it were made of Swarovski crystals (which is legit what I thought it was on first glance, but on second glance I knew better), but it's a nice touch.  Question: Why did she leave her hot rollers on her gun?  P.S. I really like the yellow gloves and wish the rest of the outfit were that color.

On the left you can catch a glimpse of the bottom half of the German suit.  On the right is Anastazia Kuzmina of Slovakia.  Big props to Slovakia for their daring use of color.  I'm loving the electric lime and uneven black and white ribbon detail.


Schedules of Spandex on the Screen

The last few nights I have watched NBC's Olympic coverage while simultaneously gchatting with my friend Jenni. She pointed out that A) she has no idea when what events are on TV, and B) that with the exception of what we were watching while chatting, she gets most of her Olympic news from my blog (so not much news at all, though some things you can piece together through the photos). Thus, she suggested that I put up schedules of televised events on my site. A genius idea, indeed!

And now a list of sports to look out for where the athletes are draped in spandex:
  • Alpine Skiing
  • Biathlon
  • Bobseld
  • Cross Country
  • Figure Skating
  • Luge
  • Nordic Combined
  • Short Track
  • Skeleton
  • Ski Jumping
  • Speed Skating
(Interestingly, only 4 sports in the Winter Games outfit their athletes in non-spandex attire...)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Stephen Colbert in Olympic Spandex

As you may or may not know, Stephen Colbert is not only a supporter of the US men's speed skating team, but he graced Sports Illustrated's December cover in their spandex attire. Here are some of his outtakes from

Ever wonder where those figure skating outfits come from?

Apparently Vera Wang!

Vera Wang with Evan Lysacek

Men's Figure Skating- short program

Leading up to last night's short program, there had been some drama in the world of men's figure skating. On the ice, skaters earned points for their athleticism and artistry from the Olympic judges. Well now its my turn and BOY did they give me a lot of material (spandex, to be exact) to work with!!!

It seems as though Artem Borodulin of Russia got lost on his way to the auditions for HAIR on Ice. And maybe stole one of their costumes in the process. Please give it back and also get a haircut.

I'm so upset that there wasn't a shot of Canadian Vaughn Chipuer's backside (dude, get your mind out of the gutter!). You can see a glimmer of crystal detailing on his right shoulder. There is more on the back. He must have been styled by the cast of MTV's "Jersey Shore" because he looked like he had landed on the ice straight out of an Ed Hardy store.

I am LOVING the sheer black blouse over the cut-out black spandex top (leotard?) on Viktor Pfeifer of Austria. Normally I find all black to be boring, but there is enough visual interest here to make it almost (almost) exciting. Hopefully we'll see more color from Pfeifer in the free skate.

Love him. In my eyes, American Johnny Weir can do no wrong. Anyone who skates to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" and is featured in an episode of "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" can do no wrong. With that disclaimer out of the way, let's discuss this one-piece spandex wonder: The deep v-neck and pink tassel/other pink accents nicely break up what would have otherwise been a boring black outfit. Also adding visual interest is the difference in the textures of the top and bottom halves. My friend Jenni commented that the outfit was oddly defining of his butt. Upon further examination we realized that the back of the top was possibly meant to look like coat-tails. Awesome. I love you, Johnny Weir.

Kevin van der Perren's outfit leads me to believe that Belgians do not have complete ribcages, nor do the have complete spines. WTF? Did you order your outfit too late and they didn't have time to finish? Because if it had been finished, not only would you be able to reuse this outfit on Halloween, but it would have been AWESOME!

There are so many things going on in this picture of Yevgeny Plushenko of Russia. Being favored for gold does NOT give you fashion immunity. I'm not entirely opposed to the matador look he is rocking, but I do find issue with his un-centered belt. It makes him look like a 12 year old punk kid getting ready to fight bulls. Either be the 12 year old or be the matador. Both isn't an option. Oh, and do something about your mullet. Yeah, I said mullet.

I had to save the best for last. Here we have Samuel Contesti of Italy as a farmer of (and in) spandex. From the plaid shirt to the denim-look spandex overalls, this is just unreal. I'm speechless.

Project Runway

In season 2 of Project Runway the designers were challenged to create a figure skating outfit for Sasha Cohen. Check out their work:

Time Magazine's Top 10 Worst Figure Skating Costumes

Surprisingly, only one contender so far from the 2010 Games: two-time world champions Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy of Germany for their clown-like short program attire. Check out the article here.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

To get you excited for my coverage of the Men's short program

Johnny Weir skating to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"

P.S. Pretty sure Tyra wore that belt on the entirety of the last season of ANTM...

Pairs Figure Skating- free skate

As I mentioned in my previous post, I lost my mind while previewing these photos. There is just so much greatness! So I won't bother you with my mindless rambling and will just get to it, because these are absolute GOLD!

Because I want you to have the same viewing experience as I did, I needed to show you this picture of Hausch and Wende of Germany first. This is literally the first picture I saw on I wish I had watched their actual performance to truly understand the greatness of their spandex but upon first glance they seem to be Roman warriors. On second glance, I definitely get a Lego vibe. Like, I'm pretty sure there is a Lego set of these outfits. If there isn't, there should be.

Doubtful you'll recognize these two, but believe it or not it is Volosozhar and Morosov of the Ukraine (of blue glamdex fame). These outfits are clearly disappointing after such a strong/shiny showing in the short program. And what are those pins on her collar? Wings? Is she supposed to be a flight attendant? Boo. But great shot of her bangs....

I seriously got my mom to buy a Valentino shirt in nearly this same pattern last weekend. Not sure if that's good or bad for you mom. Sorry. But Bazarova and Lariyono of Russia really make it work (though I am curious about the gold waistband on Lariyano- is that his underwear? I hope so...). Again I really wish I had seen their performance. I can only imagine what sort of 80s musical magic they skated to.

My biggest beef with US skaters Evora and Ladwig is the top of Evora's dress. You're getting your outfit custom made for this performance, at the OLYMPICS no less, and you can't get them to match the mesh to your skin tone? Hope you got your money back.

I have no idea what is going on with this dress. Clearly Denney and Barrett hired Ping who was recently kicked off Project Runway to design it. It looks like purple, gold, and lace just sort of threw up on her. I have to admit I'm into the man-cleavage on Barrett, though... Heidi obviously had his back and he got paired with a better designer.

Morand and Dorsaz of Switzerland in Burberry Ice 2010. Didn't realize Burberry worked with spandex...

Monday, February 15, 2010

"What if your blog became as popular as Julie's in 'Julie & Julia'?!?!?!"

This was a question posed to me by my friend Ellie earlier today. There are a few answers to this question:

A) That would be AWESOME!
B) I feel like this blog might translate better to reality tv than it would to film.

That being said, here are the ideas Ellie and I came up with for reality shows based on/inspired by Ode to Olympic Spandex:

- a "Newlyweds" type show documenting my love affair with Spandy Andy

- a show that follows me around as I learn how to do various Olympic sports while also modeling each sport's unique spandex

- a show that follows me on my quest to meet Spandy Andy (would likely be the precursor to the first idea, may or may not include my Olympic misadventures along the way)

- a show that is straight up about spandex and the different capacities in which it is worn

Obviously I need to decide quickly since there is only a week and a half left of the Olympics!

Alpine- Men's downhill training

Once more we have come upon a sport that I had no idea supported the generous use of spandex attire. Upon further thought, however, I realized that once again the athletes benefit from how swiftly the air is able to move across the fabric.

Starting us off is Maui Gayme, marking Chile's first appearance on this blog. Way to make a first impression!!! The styling is similar to Canada's luge uniforms but the colors lend to more of a "Transformers" look. Loving it. On an only mildly related note, where do you ski in Chile? Strikes me as one of the warmer nations...

Sweden has really outdone themselves in this colorful number modeled by Patrik Jaerbyn. There is so much detail and an excellent use of color! I'm particularly fond of the nameplate on the leg as well as the matching helmet. Major style points here.

Robbie Dixon of Canada. Wow. You really can't miss him on the slopes!!! Great marketing strategy.

Australia is also going for that exoskeleton/Transformers/hard outer shell look. Does anyone else also get turtle when they see Craig Branch in this?

The US really had some tricks up their sleeve. Just when I was starting to doubt our country's sense of fashion, they pulled out show-stopping numbers for both luge, and now Alpine. Erik Fisher is a giant flag speeding down the slopes and let me tell you- flag looks good on him.

Pairs free skate is coming soon! I previewed the pictures as they were posted last night and was losing my MIND! Currently watching the men's short program, and there are some gems there as well. Get excited!!!

Women's 10k Freestyle XC

With the exception of figure skating, I realize that women in spandex have been noticeably absent from this blog. While not entirely intentional, let's be real- it is SO much funnier to see men in spandex (I mean, did you SEE the Ukrainian figure skater?!?!?!). That being said, I will get to women outside of figure skating occasionally, such as now.

Anna Haag of Sweden scores points with this pastel number. The colors also conveniently blend really well with the greens and blues on the number vests that all the athletes had to wear. Bravo.

I know this picture isn't great, but I wanted to complement Aino-Kaisa Saarinen of Finland on her daring use of color. Ask anyone who knows me- I am a deeply devoted supporter of neon.

It seems fitting to end this post with a shot of Marit Bjoergen of Norway's posterior. To be honest, I have no idea what the rest of her suit looks like. I just wanted to appreciate the lines on her butt. They are hilarious and seemingly pointless.

Luge- Men's singles

Luge is a sport that relies on the aerodynamic wonders of spandex. The men's singles competition did not disappoint in suspense (two-time gold medalist and favorite to win Armin Zoeggeler of Italy was knocked out of the top spot, yet still left with bronze) or fashion. Unfortunately NBC failed to list the names of the athletes under the photos of this event, so all I can tell you is the country each uniform is from.

This look hails from host nation Canada. IT IS INCREDIBLE!! It sort of looks like a colorful exoskeleton... Or like those pictures of what muscles look like? LOVE it.

Germany. My favorite part of this piece is clearly the arms. Specifically I like how the yellow section has a thumb loop. Very cool. The white detail also sort of looks like wings... Wish he had black shoes, though.

So far Japan has not disappointed me with their assorted spandex creations and this one is no exception. While I do miss the gold that was featured prominently in the speed skating and short track outfits, the cartoonish arms of this one completely make up for that. Totally FAB.

This Romanian ensemble is simple yet sweet. I like how the white of the bodysuit blends seamlessly into the shoes. And the flag detailing on the arms and legs adds visual interest.

Team USA is coming back from a disappointing fashion start to the Olympics and bringing us this fiery wonder. There really isn't much more to say, but let's hope he didn't melt the ice in that outfit!!!!