Ode to Olympic Spandex

I was planning on writing a hard-hitting piece on curling fashion here, but then it hit me: In comparison to the Norwegians, all the other curling teams look like they are going grocery shopping on a Sunday morning. Associated Press via NBCOlympics.com United States I know that I am always pushing for more red in our national attire, but blaaaaaaaaaah. They even look bored WEARING this. Associated Press via NBCOlympics.com Germany Seriously. Stopping at the store on the way home from the country club. Associated Press via the Toronto Star Canada Ok, we're getting a little better. Some graphic interest. I would expect at least as much from a curling nation such as Canada. Associated Press via NBCOlympics.com Russia Longtime readers will recall that I was a big fan of this Russian print that was also used during the 2012 London Olympics. Still a fan, and I appreciate that they are learning from the Norwegians. AND NOW THE HOLY GRAIL OF CURLING F...

I admit to often being a slave to marketing. Generally this takes the form of buying any mascara that claims to make my lashes look big and fake. This week it took the more cost-effective route of inspiring a fascination of and love affair with ski jumping. Here's the Visa commercial: First of all, how fitting that during these Games being held in Russia my new favorite sport would evoke memories of Rocky and Bullwinkle, or rather, Moose and Squirrel : Rocky and Bullwinkle / via GifSoup It's really no surprise that I am so taken with ski jumping. Flying is awesome, and they do it in spandex. There is nothing not to love here. Let's take a look at some of the best and worst in ski jumping fashion, shall we? USA Today Sports Peter Prevc, SLO My favorite suit by far comes all the way from Slovenia. This is absolutely Tron-tastic. The stark white against the dark black... Thrilling. And the contrasting arm is a special touch unmatched by any other nation...

I have mentioned before the difficulty I have with other news outlets living inside my brain. Being a one spandex-clad woman blogging operation, sometimes I don't get things in writing as quickly as I am thinking them. Thus, many have beaten me to the "Johnny Weir Sochi fashion" punch. JDub is truly owning the Olympics. His commentary never fails to amuse (on Canadian ice dancer Tessa Virtue's dress he said Sunday, "I love that she's wearing a costume inspired by Russian royalty, and a little bit of Faberge"), and his outfits have been OFF THE CHARTS AMAZING. Your first course of action at this point should be to immediately follow him on the 'gram . He's been posting semi-daily fashion selfies. Your welcome. And if you need more, here is a round-up of suggested reading on JDub's 2014 Olympic wear: Gawker: Ex-Skater Johnny Weir's Fashion is About to Take Over the Olympics NBC Bay Area: Sochi's Breakout Star: John...

I have to admit that I'm confused by Day 0 of the Olympics. When people ask me why competition starts prior to the Opening Ceremonies I respond confidently that there is just too much to fit in. People tend to believe me because I have positioned myself as an expert on most things Olympic, but I'm pretty sure I made that up. Regardless, we got an extra day of spandex and I am here to break it all down for you. Figure Skating Team Event: Men's and Pairs Unapologetic chest exposure, and fancy couples costumes Figure skating is truly the golden sport when it comes to wintertime Olympic spandex. With the introduction of the team event, there are even MORE outfits to be worn, and this fills our cold, judgmental heart with pure joy. We've much to discuss, so let's not waste any more time. A trend among the men's skaters last night was a blatant open chest. Is it a sweat issue? I imagine that this would come into play to some extent, and I guess the women ...

With Yevgeny Plushenko taking Russia into the lead in today's Team Figure Skating events, I just want to remind the internet, and everyone, of this: Those hips, that muscle tank, and then he takes his pants off...  I'm keeping an eye out for this one in Sochi.

To get you in that Olympic spirit, here are some films you might consider watching: Cool Runnings:  One of my all-time favorite movies and the best (maybe only) big screen bobsledding around.  Based on the true story of the first Jamaican bobsled team trying to make it to the winter Olympics. Miracle: Miracle tells the true story of Herb Brooks (Russell), the player-turned-coach who led the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team to victory over the seemingly invincible Russian squad. The Cutting Edge:  She's a rich and refined pairs figure skater whose prima donna attitude has her skating solo. He's a brash, blue-collar hockey champion with a new injury and no future. With nothing in common but their dream of reaching the Olympics, Kate and Doug are each other's last resort. Reluctantly, they join forces, but its not long before the barbs – and sparks – start flying as the unlikely pair skate towards the opportunity of a lifetime: a chance at a medal...and a chance ...

Hello fair readers!  I hope you haven't missed me too much.  If you have, you're in luck.  There is only one week until the Olympics! http://media.giphy.com/media/lVpMtdHjL5Yqs/giphy.gif I know, I feel the same way.  We have a lot of ground to cover.  Let me give you a quick agenda for this meeting.  First I'll tell you why we can go ahead and cancel the Olympics now.  IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!  Then we'll spend some time going over Team USA's Olympic gear (#barf).  We'll give a little time to fashion highlights from other competing nations, and finally we'll go through the schedule and pick out some spandex highlights for you. Ready? Why We Can Go Ahead and Cancel the Olympics Now Meet Prince Hubertus von Hohenlohe of Mexico: NBC Olympics He already won.  Though not technically a prince, the alpine skiier, six time Olympian, and sole representative of Mexico will be sporting this mariachi-themed spandex suit on...