Here at Ode to Olympic Spandex, we've been focused on far more important things: swimwear. The Aquatics Centre is a veritable gold mine of water-ready spandex, and we would be remiss not to give you a full rundown of all the glory.
Team USA: I would like to applaud world record breaker Rebecca Soni for also breaking the mold with this pink suit. It clearly propelled her to Olympic greatness. As for the other women, I am intrigued by the center mesh cut-out. I wonder if this creates a speed advantage, or if it is merely for fashion?
Spain: Ok, I admit these caps are not made of spandex. But the Spanish water polo team rocked this purple like no one else could, and they are obviously super excited to be wearing them. Especially the guy on the right. I also can't help but think that water polo caps look like old-timey football helmets.
Odd medal giver outer lady: Again, not spandex and not swimwear, but happening in the greater pool area. WTF is this?!?! What is that yellow hanky hanging out of her empire waist zipper? WHO CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN?!?! #fired
Serbia: Props to the Serbian swimmer on the left for not taking his Olympic dream too seriously that he can't bust out a pop of color at the pool. Everyone else is in black and it is boring. It is shameful that people could be awarded medals in such lifeless swimwear.
Canada: The next selection of swimwear shots all hail from the Canadian Olympic team.
On a purely photographic level, this is great- excellent composition. However, I'm pretty sure I owned this Speedo as a child, and Canada just slapped a maple leaf on it. It looks nice, but I know they can give me more than this.
Too athletic. I get that this is the Olympics and athleticism is sort of a thing, but don't forget about fashion in the process.
Same issue with the random maple leaf. This one actually looks like it was photoshopped on. On just a swimwear level, I like this suit. But on a patriotic level, I am disappointed.
This is my favorite of the Canadian swimsuits. I particularly appreciate the fact that as the women dive into the pool, the movement of their bodies combined with the pattern of the suits make them look like red torpedoes!
Italy: I feel like I am looking at a map of the solar system.
Great Britain: The next two shots feature members of Team GB.
On the positive side, the boringness of this suit leaves only Tom Daley's abs to look at. On the negative, these are SO FRIGGIN BORING. There isn't even any detail on the butt.
This is how you do a British bum.
USA: Thoughts on both the men and women's suits.
I'm actually really into these. I wish the gymnasts had worn something like this instead of all that pink.
The lighter side area makes these look more fit for a Magic Mike-style strip club than the Olympics. Not that I'm complaining.
China: I wish that this were a wrap-around pattern, and not just frontal. I do appreciate the abundance of color, though.
Russia: The positioning of the divers in this photo, combined with the chosen colors, make it look like they are exploding. Don't order what they had for lunch.
Germany: Continuing on a psychedelic theme. Can you see the Northern Lights from Germany? Because that is what I think of when I see these suits.
Just for fun: Your daily dose of Lochte.