Ode to Olympic Spandex

Now that it is Friday, I will finally have time to catch up on all the marvelous spandex brought straight to my living room by the Olympics.  This weekend is also PURIM- another great time to bust out your full-body spandex body suits.  I know I wish I had one of these from SuperFanSuits.com for my Purim costume!  That would be the ultimate. Tonight/tomorrow's posts will bring you up to date on Alpine Skiing, Ski Jumping, Bobsled, and of COURSE ice dancing and women's figure skating. Oh, in other news, I think I am famous.  I say this because it seems that NBCBayArea is ripping their Olympic fashion stories from my blog:  http://www.nbcbayarea.com/around-town/shopping/Dress-Like-an-Olympian-85094067.html  (note the similarity to the previous post on this blog!).  That, or whoever is writing their Olympic fashion stories lives inside my mind...  I'm a little annoyed, but mostly flattered.  Next time, HIRE ME!! Vote NORA for Olympic Fashio...

I realize that I have been slacking lately on the spandex rundowns.  Ice dancing came and went (though there was a distinct lack of spandex in this sport, but I did spot a few stand out gems), and I have not even begun to brief you on the epicness that is the bobsled spandex (they wear pedal pushers!).  Unfortunately for my career as a blogger of spandex, I have a real job.  And this takes up a good portion of my time.  I didn't have to work last week, thus why I was able to put up 7 posts in a day.  That being said, I have worn spandex to work every day (and will continue to), and will be compiling photos to bring you the latest in Olympic spandex fashions. In the meantime, browse the internets for your own spandex race suit. Reliable Racing Ski-Racing.com Race-Werks.com All Sports Skin Suits Margaret Waite Athletic Designs Pyro Apparel Super Fan Suits

Skeleton is probably the sport that gives me the greatest number of heart palpitations when I think about it.  The name is fitting, though "Bone Crusher" would have also worked.  Skeleton is similar to luge, only upside down.  The sliders are on their stomachs on their sleds facing down the track.  Absolutely terrifying.  EPIC fashion. American Noelle Pikus-Pace may have the best spandex of the 2010 Olympics right here.  The hot pink bodysuit with USA printed on the bum as well as some black contour detailing along the sides is a recipe for success.  Someone e-mail me when this goes on sale, because I am getting one. The American men also had quality gear for this event, as modeled by John Daly.  I won't lie- I thought this was Canada upon first glance.  Either way, the pattern detail on the arm is fabulous, as is the surprising pop of yellow just above his shoes. The men's and women's uniforms for skeleton were more or less the same,...

I realize that I am a few days late with this review, but unfortunately life sometimes gets in the way.  But fear not- I tackled life head-on, in spandex no less.  That being said, there was a distinct lack of spandex during the men's free skate on Tuesday night.  Many of the skaters opted for more of a slack-like pant and blousey shirt.  Perhaps they thought that would keep them off my blog.  Unlikely. I need to begin with Canada's Patrick Chan.  On a basic level, this outfit is not that bad.  The jacket has a lot of interesting detail and I enjoy the tuxedo-style pant.  HOWEVER, throughout his entire routine all I could focus on was his belt buckle because it was distractingly prominent.  Had he gone with a spandex pant, there would have been no need for a belt thus resolving this issue.  Though Chan's most egregious fashion blunder relates to his choice of music.  Chan free skate program was choreographed to music from The Phan...

Before we get into the fashion of the men's doubles luge, I think we should first deal with the elephant in the room (internet): this sport is HILARIOUS.  Everything about it makes me laugh.  Mostly the fact that you have two people lying on top of each other, on top of a sled.  Won't the top person fly off if the bottom person is not holding them like their seatbealt?  Ha ha ha ha.  So because I got so distracted by the hilarity of the sport, I hopped on over to NBCOlympics.com to figure out what was actually going on.  Here is what they had to say: Doubles luge is a one-day competition in which pairs of athletes take two runs down the course. The fastest total time determines the winner. There is no rule that says a doubles team must comprise members of the same sex, but traditionally, men have slid together, with the larger man positioned on top for a more aerodynamic fit. Interesting...but back to the spandex. Now this is embarrassing.  For o...

That's right, it's time for a rundown of women's Biathlon.  But first things first- who knew that SHOOTING was an Olympic sport?!?!?!  WTF?  Not I, sir; not I.  So once I got past the fact that this literally blew my mind, I was able to focus on more important things- like spandex. First up is Magdalena Neuner of Germany.  The pants on this outfit were nothing to write home about, thus why I chose a picture highlighting the top half.  I love the subtle pattern detail that is incorporated into the sleeves which are already representative of the county's flag.  What I am confused about is why she is carrying an Avatar on her gun?  Realistically that may be a backpack strap, but if it is James Cameron for sure designed it. France's uniform, modeled here by Marie Laure Brunet, has also hopped on the subtle flag detail train.  I have to admit that I would like this elbow design a lot more if it were made of Swarovski crystals (wh...

The last few nights I have watched NBC's Olympic coverage while simultaneously gchatting with my friend Jenni. She pointed out that A) she has no idea when what events are on TV, and B) that with the exception of what we were watching while chatting, she gets most of her Olympic news from my blog (so not much news at all, though some things you can piece together through the photos). Thus, she suggested that I put up schedules of televised events on my site. A genius idea, indeed! And now a list of sports to look out for where the athletes are draped in spandex: Alpine Skiing Biathlon Bobseld Cross Country Figure Skating Luge Nordic Combined Short Track Skeleton Ski Jumping Speed Skating (Interestingly, only 4 sports in the Winter Games outfit their athletes in non-spandex attire...)

As you may or may not know, Stephen Colbert is not only a supporter of the US men's speed skating team, but he graced Sports Illustrated's December cover in their spandex attire. Here are some of his outtakes from SportsIllustrated.com.

Apparently Vera Wang ! Vera Wang with Evan Lysacek

Leading up to last night's short program, there had been some drama in the world of men's figure skating. On the ice, skaters earned points for their athleticism and artistry from the Olympic judges. Well now its my turn and BOY did they give me a lot of material (spandex, to be exact) to work with!!! It seems as though Artem Borodulin of Russia got lost on his way to the auditions for HAIR on Ice. And maybe stole one of their costumes in the process. Please give it back and also get a haircut. I'm so upset that there wasn't a shot of Canadian Vaughn Chipuer's backside (dude, get your mind out of the gutter!). You can see a glimmer of crystal detailing on his right shoulder. There is more on the back. He must have been styled by the cast of MTV's "Jersey Shore" because he looked like he had landed on the ice straight out of an Ed Hardy store. I am LOVING the sheer black blouse over the cut-out black spandex top (leotard?) on Viktor Pf...

In season 2 of Project Runway the designers were challenged to create a figure skating outfit for Sasha Cohen. Check out their work:

Surprisingly, only one contender so far from the 2010 Games: two-time world champions Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy of Germany for their clown-like short program attire. Check out the article here .

Johnny Weir skating to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" P.S. Pretty sure Tyra wore that belt on the entirety of the last season of ANTM...

As I mentioned in my previous post, I lost my mind while previewing these photos. There is just so much greatness! So I won't bother you with my mindless rambling and will just get to it, because these are absolute GOLD! Because I want you to have the same viewing experience as I did, I needed to show you this picture of Hausch and Wende of Germany first. This is literally the first picture I saw on NBColympics.com. I wish I had watched their actual performance to truly understand the greatness of their spandex but upon first glance they seem to be Roman warriors. On second glance, I definitely get a Lego vibe. Like, I'm pretty sure there is a Lego set of these outfits. If there isn't, there should be. Doubtful you'll recognize these two, but believe it or not it is Volosozhar and Morosov of the Ukraine (of blue glamdex fame). These outfits are clearly disappointing after such a strong/shiny showing in the short program. And what are those pins on her collar? ...

This was a question posed to me by my friend Ellie earlier today. There are a few answers to this question: A) That would be AWESOME! B) I feel like this blog might translate better to reality tv than it would to film. That being said, here are the ideas Ellie and I came up with for reality shows based on/inspired by Ode to Olympic Spandex: - a "Newlyweds" type show documenting my love affair with Spandy Andy - a show that follows me around as I learn how to do various Olympic sports while also modeling each sport's unique spandex - a show that follows me on my quest to meet Spandy Andy (would likely be the precursor to the first idea, may or may not include my Olympic misadventures along the way) - a show that is straight up about spandex and the different capacities in which it is worn Obviously I need to decide quickly since there is only a week and a half left of the Olympics!

Once more we have come upon a sport that I had no idea supported the generous use of spandex attire. Upon further thought, however, I realized that once again the athletes benefit from how swiftly the air is able to move across the fabric. Starting us off is Maui Gayme, marking Chile's first appearance on this blog. Way to make a first impression!!! The styling is similar to Canada's luge uniforms but the colors lend to more of a "Transformers" look. Loving it. On an only mildly related note, where do you ski in Chile? Strikes me as one of the warmer nations... Sweden has really outdone themselves in this colorful number modeled by Patrik Jaerbyn. There is so much detail and an excellent use of color! I'm particularly fond of the nameplate on the leg as well as the matching helmet. Major style points here. Robbie Dixon of Canada. Wow. You really can't miss him on the slopes!!! Great marketing strategy. Australia is also going for that exoskeleton/T...

With the exception of figure skating, I realize that women in spandex have been noticeably absent from this blog. While not entirely intentional, let's be real- it is SO much funnier to see men in spandex (I mean, did you SEE the Ukrainian figure skater?!?!?!). That being said, I will get to women outside of figure skating occasionally, such as now. Anna Haag of Sweden scores points with this pastel number. The colors also conveniently blend really well with the greens and blues on the number vests that all the athletes had to wear. Bravo. I know this picture isn't great, but I wanted to complement Aino-Kaisa Saarinen of Finland on her daring use of color. Ask anyone who knows me- I am a deeply devoted supporter of neon. It seems fitting to end this post with a shot of Marit Bjoergen of Norway's posterior. To be honest, I have no idea what the rest of her suit looks like. I just wanted to appreciate the lines on her butt. They are hilarious and seemingly pointless. ...

Luge is a sport that relies on the aerodynamic wonders of spandex. The men's singles competition did not disappoint in suspense (two-time gold medalist and favorite to win Armin Zoeggeler of Italy was knocked out of the top spot, yet still left with bronze) or fashion. Unfortunately NBC failed to list the names of the athletes under the photos of this event, so all I can tell you is the country each uniform is from. This look hails from host nation Canada. IT IS INCREDIBLE!! It sort of looks like a colorful exoskeleton... Or like those pictures of what muscles look like? LOVE it. Germany. My favorite part of this piece is clearly the arms. Specifically I like how the yellow section has a thumb loop. Very cool. The white detail also sort of looks like wings... Wish he had black shoes, though. So far Japan has not disappointed me with their assorted spandex creations and this one is no exception. While I do miss the gold that was featured prominently in the speed skating ...