Men's Figure Skating- short program

Leading up to last night's short program, there had been some drama in the world of men's figure skating. On the ice, skaters earned points for their athleticism and artistry from the Olympic judges. Well now its my turn and BOY did they give me a lot of material (spandex, to be exact) to work with!!!

It seems as though Artem Borodulin of Russia got lost on his way to the auditions for HAIR on Ice. And maybe stole one of their costumes in the process. Please give it back and also get a haircut.

I'm so upset that there wasn't a shot of Canadian Vaughn Chipuer's backside (dude, get your mind out of the gutter!). You can see a glimmer of crystal detailing on his right shoulder. There is more on the back. He must have been styled by the cast of MTV's "Jersey Shore" because he looked like he had landed on the ice straight out of an Ed Hardy store.

I am LOVING the sheer black blouse over the cut-out black spandex top (leotard?) on Viktor Pfeifer of Austria. Normally I find all black to be boring, but there is enough visual interest here to make it almost (almost) exciting. Hopefully we'll see more color from Pfeifer in the free skate.

Love him. In my eyes, American Johnny Weir can do no wrong. Anyone who skates to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" and is featured in an episode of "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" can do no wrong. With that disclaimer out of the way, let's discuss this one-piece spandex wonder: The deep v-neck and pink tassel/other pink accents nicely break up what would have otherwise been a boring black outfit. Also adding visual interest is the difference in the textures of the top and bottom halves. My friend Jenni commented that the outfit was oddly defining of his butt. Upon further examination we realized that the back of the top was possibly meant to look like coat-tails. Awesome. I love you, Johnny Weir.

Kevin van der Perren's outfit leads me to believe that Belgians do not have complete ribcages, nor do the have complete spines. WTF? Did you order your outfit too late and they didn't have time to finish? Because if it had been finished, not only would you be able to reuse this outfit on Halloween, but it would have been AWESOME!

There are so many things going on in this picture of Yevgeny Plushenko of Russia. Being favored for gold does NOT give you fashion immunity. I'm not entirely opposed to the matador look he is rocking, but I do find issue with his un-centered belt. It makes him look like a 12 year old punk kid getting ready to fight bulls. Either be the 12 year old or be the matador. Both isn't an option. Oh, and do something about your mullet. Yeah, I said mullet.

I had to save the best for last. Here we have Samuel Contesti of Italy as a farmer of (and in) spandex. From the plaid shirt to the denim-look spandex overalls, this is just unreal. I'm speechless.


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