Pairs Figure Skating- short program

Ah, figure skating- the holy grail of Olympic spandex. Here spandex takes on a multitude of forms and is personalized for each athlete or team of athletes (whereas in the other sports each country has a uniform that all the athletes wear). Valentine's Day marked the beginning of the pairs competition with the short program.


Normally I would not begin a post with such a show-stopping display of spandex, but this is simultaneously the best and worst thing I have ever seen. What is most impressive about Tatiana Volosozhor and Stanislav Morosov of the Ukraine is not only have I never seen a man in quite so much of such a shiny spandex, but the glory goes all the way down to their skates. Again- not sure if its a head to toe mess or masterpiece. What would Lady Gaga think?



Speaking of Lady Gaga, Xue Shen (with Hongbo Zhao) of China is certainly channeling either Lady Gaga or Pink (circa her Grammy performance) in this black number. If I didn't know that everything was connected by thin pieces of flesh-colored mesh, I would be concerned about a wardrobe malfunction! But alas, I know better, so we (and the FCC) are safe.



Jessica Dube and Bryce Davison of Canada in classic Zebra chic. Enough said.



Caydee Denney (USA) looks like a Phoenix birthed from the flame on partner Jeremy Barrett's shoulder. I think this is what they were going for...



Based on what I have seen out of the pairs short program, I can only IMAGINE what the rest of the figure skating events have in store. Can't wait!!!



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Aliya Mustafina (RUS): Queen of Russian Glitter

Image
Omg.  Readers.  I thought that I was going to have to create my own Aliya Mustafina makeup tutorial for you, but upon Googling "Aliya Mustafina makeup" I was presented with an onslaught of tutorials, pictures, and general awesomeness. Let me tell you about Ms. Mustafina.  I've loved her from day one because NBC labeled her a diva.  A Russian, gymnastics DIVA.  Girl also wears 75 pounds (31.0194 kg, if you're in Russia) of glitter in her hair and on her eyes.  She is my Olympic beauty idol.  Honestly, I'm thinking of forgoing my Princess Sophia Grace Halloween/Purim costume in favor of going as Aliya Mustafina.  I'm obsessed. I've included a makeup tutorial below, however it fails to include two important tips. 1.  You must wear your best bitch face with this look.  I'm not saying that Aliya Mustafina is a bitch- I'm telling you that girl knows what she wants and will go Hunger Games on your ass to get it. 2.  Afte...
Read more

Olympics Day 0 Brings 1000 Things to Discuss

Image
I have to admit that I'm confused by Day 0 of the Olympics. When people ask me why competition starts prior to the Opening Ceremonies I respond confidently that there is just too much to fit in. People tend to believe me because I have positioned myself as an expert on most things Olympic, but I'm pretty sure I made that up. Regardless, we got an extra day of spandex and I am here to break it all down for you. Figure Skating Team Event: Men's and Pairs Unapologetic chest exposure, and fancy couples costumes Figure skating is truly the golden sport when it comes to wintertime Olympic spandex. With the introduction of the team event, there are even MORE outfits to be worn, and this fills our cold, judgmental heart with pure joy. We've much to discuss, so let's not waste any more time. A trend among the men's skaters last night was a blatant open chest. Is it a sweat issue? I imagine that this would come into play to some extent, and I guess the women ...
Read more

Women's Volleyball: A sport I actually know about

Image
Here's a fun fact- I played volleyball for 7 years while in school.  Admittedly, it was middle and high school.  And we weren't very good.  And I spent most of my time on the bench.  But when I sat on that bench, I did it in spandex. Anyway, because I actually know how this sport works, I generally enjoy watching it.  I am currently taking in the USA vs South Korea game and have a few things to note. 1.  I NEED to get my hands on the South Korean shorts.  I am a general supporter of all spandex apparel, but I am especially fond of the spandex short (this likely stems from the time I spent playing volleyball).  The detail on the butt is GLORIOUS! 2.  Most unfortunate name of the match (and probably the whole Olympics, but it's too early to call): Destinee Hooker .  I hope that her athletic prowess overshadowed her name growing up.  If not, LOOK WHERE SHE IS NOW, BITCHES!!! Whilst writing this post, Team USA de...
Read more